By Sandra Reid Success in marriage is much more than finding the right person; it is a matter of being the right person. B.R. Brickner Whats the purpose of the wedding you want to create? Unless youre clear about it, the journey toward being married could be bumpy at best. Its easy to get caught up in a tension-fraught illusion. Brides can be dragged along by a concept that isnt even theirs. Thats why its important to go over these questions and feel what your particular purpose around your wedding is Is it a sacred event? If so, are their religious rules and expectations that have to be met? Make your minister or priest your friend! He or she is a great resource. Chances are they have already performed a lot of marriage ceremonies. Ask them what they have seen and how it went. Ask for their opinion. These days, even the most religious weddings have some room for personalized vows or a chance to influence the order of the service, the wording, the music, etc. Make sure your clergy person knows about all of the changes you want to make and is willing to support those changes. Some denominations require pre-marital counseling. Some churches will only allow people of their congregation to use the church or synagogue for a wedding. Some churches do not allow a priest to perform weddings outside of the church itself. These are important things to consider before you get your heart set on a certain location. Perhaps you regard your wedding as a sacred event, but you dont fall into any particular religious category. There are numerous sources for spiritual language to incorporate into your wedding ceremony. You may want to examine the traditions of faiths around the world and incorporate some of those elements into your ceremony. You may want to write your entire ceremony yourselves. However, someone has to conduct the ceremony and sign the official documents that your state requires in order for your marriage to be legal. Make sure you find an officiant who has legal standing in your community, and who is comfortable with what you want at your wedding. Is it a casual/informal house or outdoor wedding? Inform the guests ahead of time to any dress rules or particular circumstances that may apply at these weddings. Is it a social affair? Who are you trying to impress? Are you trying to measure up to someone elses wedding? Are you trying to copy something you saw in a magazine somewhere? Are you trying to reflect a feeling? If so, whats that feeling? Are you trying to have the biggest, best, most interesting, most creative, most something anyone has ever seen? Why? Do you think you have to do your wedding a particular way? Have you looked up the etiquette books enough to know that there are endless possibilities for how a wedding is done? - from extremely simple, to extraordinarily complex. Those are some of the reasons for a wedding. What are yours? Take a few moments and write down some key words for yourself. Just jot down whatever comes into your mind as you ask yourself: What is my wedding really about? What do I want to experience on that day? What do I want my groom to experience? These are important questions. And, maybe you can come up with some moretake the time to lay your foundation for your wonderful and loving wedding! The key is to be who you are, accept who you are, and plan a wedding that shows that to the world. Sandra has dressed hundreds of brides in beautiful wedding gowns for many years and now works as a financial, life and wedding coach. She also has a background in Holistic Health and is the co-author of the book "The Relaxed and Radiant Bride"
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